Temporary

*More than a week ago, I got my annual henna during my school’s University Week. And for a bargain price, this is as neat as it’s gonna get. Sorry these are Snapchat pictures obviously haha. Try not to mind my annoying stickers and doodles. They’ve lasted longer than expected, thankfully faded into a purple gray instead of that murky golden brown, and now they’re maybe just two days away from completely fading.Β 

I’ve always wanted a tattoo or a couple. My brother has a few larger ones he had done pretty early on. I know some people who just went ahead and got one even on promotion but I guess I’m not quite there yet. A lifetime commitment like that makes me a little nervous and no doubt indecisive about what to get and where I’ll have it. I especially have to be sure of my reasons. “No ragrets,” right?

While I take my time contemplating what to get and where I’ll have it placed, I might just jot it all down in a journal I intend to begin soon. Might be good for me to do some writing away from a type pad or keyboard. Whatever it’ll be, I know it’ll be black, minimal, small and I mean really small, clean, and nothing quite as tumblr-girl looking as these hennas I had done. This’ll be a long time from now.

I did get these symbols in particular this year for y’know personal reasons even if they were just henna. In previous years I had some large stars on my back and a badly done Da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man on my arm. Bad choice of placement on my part, I admit I kinda just wanted to see how good these henna artists could get without stencils.

This year my under 30-minute wait along the row of tents in the school bazaar was quite the interesting wait. I met some friendly characters, I guess that happens more when you’re alone, and for the ones I never had exchanges with, I had an open curiosity to see what they wanted temporarily inked on them. “Inked,” like the real deal but not. I may have chosen the same henna guy I did some two years ago too. He was very polite and I still think one of the better ones that joins every year seeing as I’ve tried others.

I had the planets or the linear universe done just cause there was extra time before I rushed to class which I would later find out was free cut. There was extra ink and I thought it looked cool. I had it done last among the four and I had to talk him into each round he drew because we had no design for it. It’s just something I’ve seen time and again online. Never the best reasons but for something temporary, why not? I always had a fascination with astronomy and getting a cute alien would’ve been too grunge-y.

Last week like some weeks really, I felt the Universe was absolutely bigger than me as oppose to being more one with it. It really is anyway but in a sense I was reminded I was just a speck in it. Humbling to know it had bigger things in store for itself and the rest of the world. But I do think there’s so much more to the world than things working out for me cause it isn’t about me in the first place. It never is. If things were to go good for me though then I’d be at the very least already blessed to have a shot at experiencing more than a speck of what the world has to offer even in ways I don’t expect. It’s going to be okay. Always is.

Two blogs and four trillion years ago… I was very fascinated with snowflakes, star-shaped ones in particular. I have to add that this was not the kinda snowflake I wanted. I showed him a neater, simpler design but as it was on my back and the henna dude had a mind of his own, this is what he came up with and I only saw it after my friends took a picture. What is that bedazzle he insisted on adding for some extra bling?

It’s been years since and still haven’t seen or experienced a snow fall? But I think for poetic reasons and the kid who’ll always adore Jack Frost from the 90s, I will never let the imagery of a snowflake go. I might even consider having a sort of it tattooed. There’s just something about it. Snowflakes are unique and you can’t really see them unless under the right weather conditions. You probably have to have a special lens to capture them too. They’re unique. They fall. They melt. And they’re fleeting. I had it done for when I fell for the irreplaceable people I had fleeting moments with, and for the little spark of special I can only hope to be because nothing lasts. Life is precious like that. Who wouldn’t want to keep a piece of Christmas all year round? It’s always fall and winter somewhere else.

This is the Reiki symbol for healing. I’m not well researched with this and if I’ll consider having this done surely a lot smaller as a tattoo, I’m definitely going to be doing more reading into healing symbols. But I can’t be all about the symbols and none of it in real life.

I was never the type to talk about healing. I think with a default existentialist attitude I was always more of the I got better, got over it, moved on, grew more, I don’t care-type? I thought the word, heal may have been weak or synonymous to accepting pain and weakness, perhaps that’s why I didn’t like using it. I guess though I’m at that point wherein it’s no longer in my best interest to pretend nothing ever left me a little ouchie after all these years. I’m no longer trying to be a winner all the time. I’m trying to heal and grow. I can be my worst enemy too so I accept that I need to do what I can to heal so I can grow. Almost appropriately people who wear this symbol become healers themselves. I only know from the news but there’s no doubt that the world is hurting more and more each day. Try to be kinder to yourself and to everyone you encounter.

Fly. Ironically, I don’t think I’ll ever have a tattoo of a word or a quote whether in English, Chinese, French, or indecipherable code. I spend so much of my time writing already and as I will continue to encounter words mundane and even close to perfect, I couldn’t find anything so special to tattoo on my body. I wouldn’t know what typography I’d like on me too, there’s just too many and so far nothing has ever called out to me. I’m not crazy about typography perhaps. Symbols or imagery are better personally because they stand for something in particular but they’re also open to interpretation. Words are limited by their very definitions. But if ever I do get one, I might laugh about this entire paragraph disclaimer then you’ll just have to see it on my skin. If I did have the word fly tattooed on me it wouldn’t be in this kind of script. Guess this was all for effect. Much as I hate that it looks so tumblr-like, a paper plane is still a good symbol for flight and it’s mine even here in my blog.

It’ll always mean courage to me.

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