Persisting I

*Passed by the Art Elements Asian Gallery weeks ago with my parents and we discovered Norlie Meimban. Boy would I have loved to take home a piece or have something commissioned. Given his animation background, his style is a lovely mix of techniques and themes that give it a very postmodern look. Would love to meet him someday and see more of his work and how else it can evolve

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that centerpiece!

I’ve been so fixated on his series of unbroken motion depicting ideas of perhaps of a persisting self. I’ll always be curious about the temporal and the causal facets of continuity. Much to read on. Art that makes you think, a feast for the eyes, and food for thought, y’knowย ๐Ÿ˜Š


Featured images:ย ยฉ Norlie Meimban

The plight of the baby’s breath

*I tend to revisit photos I took from one of my favorite writing assignments for the school paper which was a Valentine’s Day feature a year ago. Wish I could revisit Dang Wa again but it’s gotten too hot so maybe on a cloudy cool day. I have a thing for wild looking flowers, as in roadside wildflowers haha

Florists have tucked stems of baby’s breath in and around larger centerpiece breeds for bouquets and flower arrangements for a long time now. They come a lot cheaper than the average showstopper rose and tulip. However as the wallflower of the flora world, in bundles especially, it has a standalone charm despite appearing precarious and delicate rendering it an extra on rotation in a commercial shop. Imagine being the decor for what’s already regarded as decor. But the baby’s breath’s hushed prettiness tugs at you in contrast along the dampened streets of a busy flower market against the medley of vendors trading in green for a sea of colors, a sight already typical in a place where bigger is usually better.

Interim Evergreen

My dominantly white, pastel, crisp blue feed has gone green. Evergreen, to be specific. There’s just a special place in this city kid’s heart for roaming the great outdoors. It’s a priceless change of scenery.ย ๐ŸŒฒ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™

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7 out of 9 of these were taken during my stroll around Lynn Canyon in North Vancouver with family. Still wish I had an SLR to better capture the landscape. The two videos are from my stroll around UBC with Janelle on another day

 

A Lone State

A year and a half ago I stumbled on what is still one of my favorite silent shorts and I’m revisiting it. If you watch it, you’ll find it isn’t so silent after all. The only words uttered in the voice message in the beginning leaves a painful spell that remains long after anything is ever said. It nudgesย most who are familiar with this kind of feeling, a feeling unsure of what it is and what it can be as it changes minute by minute. The film rests on these changing internal tides where acceptedย solitudeย is constant. Backed up by a new retro inspired score, my favorite specifically being Video Dreams by Haunt, it explores the varying emotional states of heartbreak that turns into a stabilizing peace.ย He doesn’t seem lonely to me, just alone and as is with having nowhere to be with nobody else. But I can sense his state of missing.

The frustrated com arts major in me would’ve liked to work on a project quite like this one. If not for the unique play on music, it was a treat to the eyes more than anything. Viktor Pakpour’s cinematography is subtle in his panorama but particular with his setting. His color choices almost look surreal in the day then alternates with a relatable rawness in the evening which wonderfully capture the boredom and beauty in “life goes on”.

It’s not romantic, it’s the anti-romantic but especially artistic take on the reality of solitude today. I do enjoy taking romantic trips to convenient stores on my own too, does that count? I don’t live in the US but if this looks nothing like the high soaring American dream, this might just be the high point of its opposite in fact. He’s lost and he doesn’t mind, and this looks to me and obviously Victor Pakpour as one of the nicer places to go missing. We live in a pressing time wherein so many of us are actually being missed and missing the other, but always surrounded by the wrong crowds among things.

The six and a half minute short isย like a trip back in time to my favorite decade, the 80s with hints of the 90s. I’m almost jealous because it’s hard to find yourself comfortably alone in the cross between what we’re never sure is suburbia or a mega cityย anymore. This is an acceptable form of withdrawal he was almost forced into by his situation, and he’s taking it rather chill, rather well if I might add. He does it in style. It’s interesting to note that he never once brought out his phone to connect to the past or to the far off others unlike all proper young adults living out realitiesย posted online or y’know, it didn’t happen. And it looks like he can’t be bothered to. This film reminds me of the times I found myself under one of the sky’s many pastel hues despite being remotely removed from the side of the world I’d rather be in, and for a minute I can’t be bothered to as well.

Toy Stories

Earlier we had our annual (sometimes biannual but sometimes we skip) garage sale. After what feels like three moves and more than two decades of growing up and out, I surveyed the mini bazaar in ourย lanai hoping not to sneeze from the dust. Nobody wants to buy my pink gingham dress from when I was fourteen. Everyone insistsย to pay too little for that literal hot dog floater I climbed on in the poolย when I was ten. I see my brothers’ old matching toddler clothes and think about how they still look nothing alike but brothers nonetheless. My mom’s now vintage bags and clothes from the 90s have been such a joy to salvage. Is this the throwaway society I read about the evils of capitalism? Another man’s trash is another man’s treasure? We’ll donate the rest. The old you’s belongings will be the older you’s pocket money after a hopefully successful garage sale.

After what feels like three moves, more than two decades of growing up and out, I know there will probably be more moves. We can’t hold on to every single thing other than the hope we start to buy less but more in terms of quality. I guess they’re just treasures we can’t drag along or keep in boxes to line our walls. Earlier we had our annual garage sale and it was a sight to see bits of our childhood and memories on display for usually less than a hundred. Thank you to everyone who helped and everyone who came. Money can’t buy the underlying value of my Hello Kitty cassette player or theย toy cars andย building blocks from my brothers’ long gone playtime two to three houses ago.

Temporary

*More than a week ago, I got my annual henna during my school’s University Week. And for a bargain price, this is as neat as it’s gonna get. Sorry these are Snapchat pictures obviously haha. Try not to mind my annoying stickers and doodles. They’ve lasted longer than expected, thankfully faded into a purple gray instead of that murky golden brown, and now they’re maybe just two days away from completely fading.ย 

I’ve always wanted a tattoo or a couple. My brother has a few larger ones he had done pretty early on. I know some people who just went ahead and got one even on promotion but I guess I’m not quite there yet. A lifetime commitment like that makes me a little nervous and no doubt indecisive about what to get and where I’ll have it. I especially have to be sure of my reasons. “No ragrets,” right?

While I take my time contemplating what to get and where I’ll have it placed, I might just jot it all down in a journal I intend to begin soon. Might be good for me to do some writing away from a type pad or keyboard. Whatever it’ll be, I know it’ll be black, minimal, small and I mean really small, clean, and nothing quite as tumblr-girl looking as these hennas I had done. This’ll be a long time from now.

I did get these symbols in particular this year for y’know personal reasons even if they were just henna. In previous years I had some large stars on my back and a badly done Da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man on my arm. Bad choice of placement on my part, I admit I kinda just wanted to see how good these henna artists could get without stencils.

This year my under 30-minute wait along the row of tents in the school bazaar was quite the interesting wait. I met some friendly characters, I guess that happens more when you’re alone, and for the ones I never had exchanges with, I had an open curiosity to see what they wanted temporarily inked on them. “Inked,” like the real deal but not. I may have chosen the same henna guy I did some two years ago too. He was very polite and I still think one of the better ones that joins every year seeing as I’ve tried others.

I had the planets or the linear universe done just cause there was extra time before I rushed to class which I would later find out was free cut. There was extra ink and I thought it looked cool. I had it done last among the four and I had to talk him into each round he drew because we had no design for it. It’s just something I’ve seen time and again online. Never the best reasons but for something temporary, why not? I always had a fascination with astronomy and getting a cute alien would’ve been too grunge-y.

Last week like some weeks really, I felt the Universe was absolutely bigger than me as oppose to being more one with it. It really is anyway but in a sense I was reminded I was just a speck in it. Humbling to know it had bigger things in store for itself and the rest of the world. But I do think there’s so much more to the world than things working out for me cause it isn’t about me in the first place. It never is. If things were to go good for me though then I’d be at the very least already blessed to have a shot at experiencing more than a speck of what the world has to offer even in ways I don’t expect. It’s going to be okay. Always is.

Two blogs and four trillion years ago… I was very fascinated with snowflakes, star-shaped ones in particular. I have to add that this was not the kinda snowflake I wanted. I showed him a neater, simpler design but as it was on my back and the henna dude had a mind of his own, this is what he came up with and I only saw it after my friends took a picture. What is that bedazzle he insisted on adding for some extra bling?

It’s been years since and still haven’t seen or experienced a snow fall? But I think for poetic reasons and the kid who’ll always adore Jack Frost from the 90s, I will never let the imagery of a snowflake go. I might even consider having a sort of it tattooed. There’s just something about it. Snowflakes are unique and you can’t really see them unless under the right weather conditions. You probably have to have a special lens to capture them too. They’re unique. They fall. They melt. And they’re fleeting. I had it done for when I fell for the irreplaceable people I had fleeting moments with, and for the little spark of special I can only hope to be because nothing lasts. Life is precious like that. Who wouldn’t want to keep a piece of Christmas all year round? It’s always fall and winter somewhere else.

This is the Reiki symbol for healing. I’m not well researched with this and if I’ll consider having this done surely a lot smaller as a tattoo, I’m definitely going to be doing more reading into healing symbols. But I can’t be all about the symbols and none of it in real life.

I was never the type to talk about healing. I think with a default existentialist attitude I was always more of the I got better, got over it, moved on, grew more, I don’t care-type? I thought the word, heal may have been weak or synonymous to accepting pain and weakness, perhaps that’s why I didn’t like using it. I guess though I’m at that point wherein it’s no longer in my best interest to pretend nothing ever left me a little ouchie after all these years. I’m no longer trying to be a winner all the time. I’m trying to heal and grow. I can be my worst enemy too so I accept that I need to do what I can to heal so I can grow. Almost appropriately people who wear this symbol become healers themselves. I only know from the news but there’s no doubt that the world is hurting more and more each day. Try to be kinder to yourself and to everyone you encounter.

Fly. Ironically, I don’t think I’ll ever have a tattoo of a word or a quote whether in English, Chinese, French, or indecipherable code. I spend so much of my time writing already and as I will continue to encounter words mundane and even close to perfect, I couldn’t find anything so special to tattoo on my body. I wouldn’t know what typography I’d like on me too, there’s just too many and so far nothing has ever called out to me. I’m not crazy about typography perhaps. Symbols or imagery are better personally because they stand for something in particular but they’re also open to interpretation. Words are limited by their very definitions. But if ever I do get one, I might laugh about this entire paragraph disclaimer then you’ll just have to see it on my skin. If I did have the word fly tattooed on me it wouldn’t be in this kind of script. Guess this was all for effect. Much as I hate that it looks so tumblr-like, a paper plane is still a good symbol for flight and it’s mine even here in my blog.

It’ll always mean courage to me.

Recreation

I debate with myself about starting over and continuing, and mostly which is braver? There are things in my life that aren’t the way I want it to be, like this blog for example. I think about dropping it completely and never blogging again. If I continue posting here, I might feel very disappointed in myself and itchy about it. I think about creating a new one just because I wasn’t able to make this what I wanted it to be. It’s rather messy too. But tonight, I’ve decided to do stay. I’m not pleased with my realities but I’ve promised to keep it all real. So I’ve decided to  stay to pursue it. What a challenge it’ll be. However, I’ll be recreating it hopefully, hopefully successfully.

Here’s to recreation!