*I haven’t had much junk in my system the last few weeks, not too sure why. I’ve been avoiding coffee and tea on purpose however. The last time I drank some English breakfast tea if you read the post below, and it wasn’t even so long ago haha just this week, it really really came back to bite me. I feel I don’t need the caffeine anyway, even if I love the taste and aroma so much. My brother told me although it’s good for the heart, it’s healthy, it’s a stimulant, so it’s also quite responsible for mood swings. I’ve been moody prior to learning how to drink coffee or tea though but I do believe it’s still a substance and I don’t react well to substances. I think it makes me a little more erratic and impulsive. Physically, I tend to get palpitations especially when I’m not in a good place. Like now. It also keeps me up and these days I don’t want to be kept up. If it isn’t school work keeping me up, I have enough in my mind to do that for me. But today, after not having eaten good-proper meals over the last two weeks, my mom decided to take me to an afternoon high tea place cause I usually love those, and we bumped into some other ladies. To keep me a little busy in the midst of their 4-hour conversation, I had myself more than the usual amount of caffeine that any one person would order for leisure. So much for skipping out. And boy do I feel weird. So here’s another crappy poem I’m not proud of.
Caffeine makes a heart break a little faster and a little slower.
She thought she was carrying a near broken heart tucked underneath a baby blue dress that gleamed of summer love.
It was heavy.
There were sharp edges in the walls that surrounded it for protection that did come back to hit her hard.
And in an attempt to carry on as normally as possible, she took casual sips from the good things in life. Tea cups of cheer-me-ups.
But then her insides drowned further in a creamy brown.
It caused her injured heart to toss and tumble throughout the rest of the day, like she did all night and all morning in bed.
“Would you like another round of impulse and regret?”
“What about a warm cup of anxiety this time? To keep you up with all your worst nightmares coming true with your eyes wide open.”
Fruity notes of Earl Grey watered the wounds she blames herself for.
A latte left to get cold never burned so much.
She looks out the car window, finds herself at home glancing past the bedroom window this time, wondering about time yet again.
It’s going too slow and all the more too fast.
She fumbles to crack open a bottle of water for a change.
Mineral water has never left such a bitter taste in her mouth.
It’s never been this hard to drink down.
She’s filled with water and caffeine in her system, spinning in hopelessness, humbly disguised in her baby blue dress which she’s just taken off because it doesn’t help.
when ya still want sadness to look pretty anyway