Soar

*This is one of my favorite musicals of all time. I’ve seen it thrice, cried thrice. I think it’s relevant in a time wherein others try to villainize people who are different, and victimize them in doing so. But I’m no victim. Here’s to the things and people trying to bring me down:

Don’t be afraid

I’m not
It’s the Wizard who should be afraid
Of me

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I’m through with playing by the rules
Of someone else’s game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It’s time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes
And leap

It’s time to try defying gravity
I think I’ll try defying gravity
And you can’t pull me down

So if you care to find me
Look to the Western sky
As someone told me lately
Everyone deserves the chance to fly
And if I’m flying solo
At least I’m flying free
To those who ground me
Take a message back from me

Tell them how I am defying gravity
I’m flying high, defying gravity
And soon I’ll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down

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The Sunday Currently Vol. 5

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R E A D I N G through scattered responses from interviews I conducted for an article I’m way behind on. Lately I’ve been scanning through so many how-to type sites to guide me with sending emails haha. Thank you, Google. Going to be reading a lot of chapters from the epistemology book for finals this Thursday, bless me and my extremely short attention span especially for digital materials gah PDF books

W R I T I N G that article I’m way behind on. It’s about digital collage art. It’s proving a challenge in more ways then one. Never been this late on submitting an article wah. Also going to be writing an email right before bed to further inquire and confirm something something hmm haha

L I S T E N I N G to Your Side by Vaisle which I find is on a strange level of smooth & sexy. Me and You and Love In The Dark by Gateway Drugs which I highly recommend if you’re into synths

T H I N K I N G about beginning a coffee (plus other drinks) blog? Or just a segment here in this one for that topic? I follow a ton of people on Instagram that take photos of coffee, not just the latte art types though. But I don’t intend on decorating my feed with coffee. I do spend a good amount of time these days raving about coffee, boo. I’m really curious

S M E L L I N G change? Dramatic but my usual everyday fragrance has been out of stock. It’s not a luxury brand if you must know. It’s been out for a while that I worried they might never come out with it again. But the salesperson said I can expect it by November? That isn’t the only change for my nose though. The shampoo I’ve been using since birth (not kidding), well Johnson’s discontinued it after decades. I’m really bummed out. It’s an outrage for my hair and for my nose. No more tears? Yes tears. My hair isn’t so fun to sniff anymore..

W I S H I N G the weather stays cool or gets cooler without having to be a typhoon or destructive monsoon but I’m not complaining about the suspensions

H O P I N G I successfully “paint” my nails for the first time in years. Haha if you know me, I don’t know how to? I’m a slob. Also hope to enjoy the next few weeks whilst managing my time well. I’m not known for that haha! Hoping I pass the term with flying colors and move into the new phase with little to no roadblocks. Hoping I can balance out my impulses and plans, chill and responsibility at least till this week is up

W E A R I N G a spoof shirt that says, KICKASS, one of my most worn shirts to sleep

L O V I N G today. That’s why I wrote this post. Nothing particularly special about this Sunday but I’m beginning to like Sundays with family. I grew up hating Sundays. Today I liked that we ate somewhere new for lunch (hi Erwan Heussaff again haha) and had a few spontaneous minutes in the afternoon. I also got to practice driving around with my dad off to somewhere I haven’t driven to. Greater distances, yay. I picked up some Seattle’s Best for me and my dad and it was drizzling. How great is that? Although I almost hit an old lady he claims, it was fun for me. I’ve also been in a better mood perhaps because of my recent music finds too. I also seem to think I’ve gone through the worst weeks of the term already unless of course I’m underestimating this week and overconfident in my ability to get through it

W A N T I N G to blissfully and carelessly waste away in a coffee shop alone or with company. Believe it or not, I haven’t done this in so so long

N E E D I N G to form better habits like sleeping earlier and drinking more water. Though I’ve been drinking way more water this year than I did my whole life, I say this all the time but it’s just so hard to carry out consistently

F E E L I N G contented with my state of alone-ness? Sometimes busy, sometimes free. Sometimes happy, sometimes lonely

C L I C K I N G through photos of Thai celebrities? This is so random but they keep popping up and some of them are like the prettiest or most good looking people I’ve seen haha! There’s a family I follow. I also follow the Kramers locally

The Sunday Currently is a blog link-up by siddathornton.

A Lone State

A year and a half ago I stumbled on what is still one of my favorite silent shorts and I’m revisiting it. If you watch it, you’ll find it isn’t so silent after all. The only words uttered in the voice message in the beginning leaves a painful spell that remains long after anything is ever said. It nudges most who are familiar with this kind of feeling, a feeling unsure of what it is and what it can be as it changes minute by minute. The film rests on these changing internal tides where accepted solitude is constant. Backed up by a new retro inspired score, my favorite specifically being Video Dreams by Haunt, it explores the varying emotional states of heartbreak that turns into a stabilizing peace. He doesn’t seem lonely to me, just alone and as is with having nowhere to be with nobody else. But I can sense his state of missing.

The frustrated com arts major in me would’ve liked to work on a project quite like this one. If not for the unique play on music, it was a treat to the eyes more than anything. Viktor Pakpour’s cinematography is subtle in his panorama but particular with his setting. His color choices almost look surreal in the day then alternates with a relatable rawness in the evening which wonderfully capture the boredom and beauty in “life goes on”.

It’s not romantic, it’s the anti-romantic but especially artistic take on the reality of solitude today. I do enjoy taking romantic trips to convenient stores on my own too, does that count? I don’t live in the US but if this looks nothing like the high soaring American dream, this might just be the high point of its opposite in fact. He’s lost and he doesn’t mind, and this looks to me and obviously Victor Pakpour as one of the nicer places to go missing. We live in a pressing time wherein so many of us are actually being missed and missing the other, but always surrounded by the wrong crowds among things.

The six and a half minute short is like a trip back in time to my favorite decade, the 80s with hints of the 90s. I’m almost jealous because it’s hard to find yourself comfortably alone in the cross between what we’re never sure is suburbia or a mega city anymore. This is an acceptable form of withdrawal he was almost forced into by his situation, and he’s taking it rather chill, rather well if I might add. He does it in style. It’s interesting to note that he never once brought out his phone to connect to the past or to the far off others unlike all proper young adults living out realities posted online or y’know, it didn’t happen. And it looks like he can’t be bothered to. This film reminds me of the times I found myself under one of the sky’s many pastel hues despite being remotely removed from the side of the world I’d rather be in, and for a minute I can’t be bothered to as well.

The Sunday Currently Vol. 4

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R E A D I N G up on some companies before I write them, introduction to epistemology when I find the discipline, and more importantly Frog and Toad and the Self by The Atlantic aaaand I finally got to catch up on the previous issues of Northern Living & Southern Living, my favorite local publications earlier over lunch

W R I T I N G individual cover letters and editing my resume in my spare time

L I S T E N I N G to Change of Heart by The 1975, my favorite from their new album and a follow up to my other favorite song from the previous album, Robbers

T H I N K I N G about biking or walking around the village with Dad in a bit. It’s been a daily exercise the last few weeks with my parents

S M E L L I N G the failure of my daily skincare, sensing the calm before the storm of allergic reactions lol. I’m smelling a very temporary lotion that I splash around exposed areas for when I jog later. Nonetheless the bugs still tick me off even as I move but I can’t find any effective insect repellent around the house. Also smelling the pale yet distinct chemicals and artificiality of cakey and probably expired makeup in my bathroom. I had just attempted practicing on my face once again but I ended up looking like… let’s just say, nothing close to the YouTube makeup tutorials. I was feeling really icky after 10 minutes so I wiped it out with some remover wipes I happen to be likely allergic to, so I’m smelling the residue of that too, haha

W I S H I N G for a longer summer break (not gonna happen)

H O P I N G to paint later? To take my online course on collage art more seriously heehee. And that the incoming term in school won’t be so painful to get through or anywhere near as painful to get through as the last one

W E A R I N G the super faded college PE shirt my mom borrowed from I-dont-know-who years ago and we never returned and I fortunately got away with never buying a uniform for my PE classes, haha. Now it’s really worn out and comfy

L O V I N G a very funny Hugh Grant who can’t speak in an American accent in Mickey Blue Eyes, my parents, lattes, rosey cheeks, and the color lavender all of a sudden

W A N T I N G to look like that PONY makeup Korean girl in these videos hahaha how how how, plus a bigger bicycle perhaps

N E E D I N G to have the discipline to send out some applications and to learn photoshop forrealz

F E E L I N G a summer hangover just because who wants to go to school, right? The medium sized Iced Breve from Seattle’s Best take effect quite calmly

C L I C K I N G through Hugh Grant videos and some sites so I can properly understand what a breve is just out of curiosity

The Sunday Currently is a blog link-up by siddathornton.

Transit Terminal Vol. 3

*I haven’t done the Transit Terminal series since last summer and now that it’s summer once again, while waiting to take off to elsewhere, here’s what I’ve been upto 

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Updating my iTunes library with songs, not actual updates from Apple haha 🎶
Working on sharing my songs ^
Catching up on some sleep or trying 😴
Applying for a day job, wah I hope I hear back
Afternoon therapeutic painting w Dihiah’s hand-me-down Gouache 🎨
Throwing out/ recycling this term’s papers from my desk ♻️
Hydrating 💧
Reading the morose side of Twitter
Reruns of Say Yes To The Dress and Little People, Big World on the background, it soothes me
Third-wheeling my parents on their anniversary month
Keeping up with The Kramers against all my past social media family contesting haha they’re actually really local family goals
📌 Pinteresting as usual
Probably quitting on my Belle De Jour planner cause of changes & phases
Went to the gym a few times, lawl
Random hospital visits for various reasons 🏥
Slowly adding to my tea set, meaning I just got two tiny milk containers for a bargain
✍ Writing poetry and spontaneous prose and letters and notes
Also writing drafts and never actually posting them
🔖 Bookmarking articles for future reading
Nail biting ugh my bad habits
☑️ Reassessing my votes for the elections
Losing my appetite
🙉 Opting not to have a lot of conversations 🙊
Practice driving 🚘
🎀 On a Matilda high 🎀
Roaming around on my own
Looking for new trainers 👟 my 4-year-old ones just broke
Growing out my hair
🍓🍌 Fruits before meals and between 🍈🍍
Over thinking
Cycle of healing and hurting
Watching all sorts of badly rated but entertaining 90s movies 📽
💖 For the first time, supporting Miss Universe Philippines Maxine Medina 👑 she’s so pretty and pretty amazing too
Struggling to charge a camera 📷 (update: battery broke)
Looking for a water jug
Marathoning Dual Survival and Marooned with Ed Stafford on Discovery cause I wanna gauge what I won’t be able to do in that situation 🍃
Waiting for my big brother to come home
Last minute packing

 

The Sunday Currently Vol. 3

*Wasn’t sure whether or not it was right for me to post a Sunday Currently today because I haven’t been my best but I guess it’s all about keeping it real. I can’t just post Sunday Currently’s of pretty Sunday afternoons cause those aren’t always the case. This might be a nice break from my dismal proses. 

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found this on Twitter and it was captioned “bruised with longing”

R E A D I N G an e-book and a powerpoint and a sticky for my 7:30 am presentation tomorrow morning then some of my scattered notes once I find them for an oral test the following day

W R I T I N G typing the things I’m reading from above^, then if I have time, a crammed synthesis paper of everything I didn’t learn this term also due tomorrow, and a whole lot of sad prose/posts that fail to be vague in between if you’ve noticed

L I S T E N I N G to Only You by Sensi Sye & Keep Me In Mind by Cape Cub as I’ve just gotten past my three-day sentimental movie soundtrack phase then made a switch, I will hesitantly admit, to some 2013 Avicii just last night (might share this in a separate post)

T H I N K I N G about what toooo dooooo aand yeah

S M E L L I N G nothing really I just took a shower too

W I S H I N G I get to spend my birthday how I wish to spend it (this is redundant but hey, am I granted some special birthday week wishing dust? pleaseplease)

H O P I N G  it doesn’t have to be that way and I’m not too too too late and out of hope and luck and chances and junk

W E A R I N G a purple shirt from an event that was all the hype back in my senior year in high school and my rose-colored boxers & my newly washed eyeglasses cause the nose bridge gets oily yikes

L O V I  N G from a distance the things I shouldn’t have been silent bout appreciating and loving back then wah, entertaining guests at home spontaneously, guests who like to drink coffee or tea so I can get preparing, my parents for being so supportive of me despite my many recent failures and shortcomings, and I guess 2013 Avicii, nobody dare judge me I was a huge fan and still am of his older stuff

W A N T I N G the temperature outside to drop cause I think about the people in the streets who don’t have a place to stay and live directly under the cruel cruel rays of the sun without potent water this summer aaand repeat all hopes & wishes from up there^ cause I’m greedy huuhuu wah

N E E D I N G to accept and take responsibility gracefully for the consequences of my actions and maybe stop proudly insisting that I don’t need anybody (again this is redundant) but I once in a while come across some good good people I wouldn’t want gone from my life and I’ll *need* ’em to stay just cause :c or I’ll insist it all over again till I believe it

F E E L I N G loss, lost, bad, blah, worried, warm, and afraid, like a deeply bothered bunny

C L I C K I N G through the red line on YouTube to fast forward to my favorite parts in a song haha

*Okay that wasn’t a clean break from my dismal proses whoops. I was just candidly all over ze place. I’m a mess, peace.

The Sunday Currently is a blog link-up by siddathornton.