Tie it together

Something’s gotta give, an impossible numerical value against a system I may not get around to complying with, or the culminating and most important work in my student life. I think I’ve chosen the latter, but it’s not to say that I’ve given up entirely on my clerical work. I’ve put off behaving as though the paper meant a lot to me, but it does.

Something’s gotta give, and I gotta give the best of what I have in spite of the late start and the temptation of tapping out and being contented with mediocrity. I have a chance to do something relevant, and perhaps surprise myself in the ways words, thoughts, theory, and an attempt, can tie itself together. How will I tie it all together. I want to be able to create something a sensible yet bold set of verses that I can be proud of.

thesisit

You can be the greatest
You can be the best
You can be the King Kong banging on your chest
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transit terminal vol. 5

*I’m packing for a quick trip over the long weekend to visit my brother, so I thought of sharing bits of what life’s been like lately. It’s been busy but pretty good despite the chaos I’ve been learning more about the world and myself, alone and not

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On a short summer break 🌞
Falling asleep to CNN/BBC
Survived the first term of my senior research
🌟 & I did surprisingly well 🌟
Sleeping earlier
Rethinking unhealthy relationships
Had a blood test 💉 and my results were a-ok!
Tidying up parts of my room little by little
Finished w my study desk and shelves and dresser
Waking up to IG stories from the west
Rediscovering literature I might want to read 📚
Seeing my grandmother more often
Read thru my magazine collection
Cut out some lovely pages ✂️
Following abstract artists
Watching vlogssssssss vlogs and vlogs
Following the French elections
Sundressing 👗
Thinking abt that decently priced giant latte at a Korean dessert cafe
Research on coconut oil and apple cider vinegar
YouTube yoga few times a week
🍳 Preparing my meals 🥑
Liking handpainted prints and patterns
✍️ Religiously updating my daily planner & daily gratitude journal 📒
Crushing on young Jeremy Irons and Ralph Fiennes
📱 Waiting for my first call from my BeMyEyes app! 🤓

Run the mile

schtudThere’s an impossible list of things to do before the paper of papers is due. If not for a fear of being intellectually inadequate as in not smart enough, it’s an even greater test of my discipline and ability to stay focused. I can submit a mediocre thing, but I’m not sure if I want to.

For the longest time I’ve been told and it’s occurred to me as well that I’m unfit and it’s often felt I wasn’t cut out for this. I may have taken a zillion detours to the many things I’ve wanted to do most in college and even in philosophy, but here I am and there’s an opportunity to make a little dent in our theories of thought. And maybe I’ll surprise myself.

You can go the distance,
you can run the mile,
you can walk straight through hell with a smile

Transit Terminal Vol. 4

*Just finished the term and got back from a weekend trip to Singapore, and here’s what life’s been like before, during, and until the next time I travel

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A Singapore Airlines A380 is parked on the tarmac at the terminal of Changi International Airport. Photo: AFP

Got myself in and out of weird trouble that I was really shaken up about 😨
Improving my drinking 1.5 liters of water each day, though I should drink more 💧
Fluctuating on the flabby weighing scale
Inconsistently practicing beginners yoga from the discomfort of two mats in my room
Discovering how it’s really so hard to trust anyone nowadays
Disliking chatting for fear of being judged or misunderstood lolz
Mourning the passing of my grandfather Angkong in so many ways including love and joy
On a break from school because I chose an internship > senior practicum for now
👊 Starting my 9-5 life as an intern in a kick butt media marketing group! 💻
Having myself silent nights and a whole lot of me-time
Learning the secrets of oriental (Korean) skincare
Loving Igor from Young Frakenstein whom I think is one of the weirdest characters to grace film, now one of my favorites!
Jumping from one vlog to another
Spending lots and lots of time with family + grandma, and loving it 💞
🚗 Practice driving outsideeeee in the city finally (still can’t park)
Developing a more “moda” style and aesthetic?
Stalking vintage Parisian/Korean Instagrammers 📍 with raw, moody lit feeds 📷
Obsessing over manual brew coffee, coffee in general ☕
Bugged about my CGPA 😞
Still postponing the article I’m unsatisfied about gah
Just got back from some weird hormonal, sickness thing
Enjoying the start of bazaar season and meeting lovely folks in it
Restalked my fragrance, still waiting for my other staple
Craving Llao Llao’s Oreo Yogurt smoothie
Getting all spooked at night and losing sleep
Waiting to find the discipline to clean my room
Praying to find the self control not to purchase another 2017 planner lol
Planning some changes, fearing changes, going through changes

Featured airport: Changi Airport in Singapore

The Sunday Currently Vol. 5

sunday5

R E A D I N G through scattered responses from interviews I conducted for an article I’m way behind on. Lately I’ve been scanning through so many how-to type sites to guide me with sending emails haha. Thank you, Google. Going to be reading a lot of chapters from the epistemology book for finals this Thursday, bless me and my extremely short attention span especially for digital materials gah PDF books

W R I T I N G that article I’m way behind on. It’s about digital collage art. It’s proving a challenge in more ways then one. Never been this late on submitting an article wah. Also going to be writing an email right before bed to further inquire and confirm something something hmm haha

L I S T E N I N G to Your Side by Vaisle which I find is on a strange level of smooth & sexy. Me and You and Love In The Dark by Gateway Drugs which I highly recommend if you’re into synths

T H I N K I N G about beginning a coffee (plus other drinks) blog? Or just a segment here in this one for that topic? I follow a ton of people on Instagram that take photos of coffee, not just the latte art types though. But I don’t intend on decorating my feed with coffee. I do spend a good amount of time these days raving about coffee, boo. I’m really curious

S M E L L I N G change? Dramatic but my usual everyday fragrance has been out of stock. It’s not a luxury brand if you must know. It’s been out for a while that I worried they might never come out with it again. But the salesperson said I can expect it by November? That isn’t the only change for my nose though. The shampoo I’ve been using since birth (not kidding), well Johnson’s discontinued it after decades. I’m really bummed out. It’s an outrage for my hair and for my nose. No more tears? Yes tears. My hair isn’t so fun to sniff anymore..

W I S H I N G the weather stays cool or gets cooler without having to be a typhoon or destructive monsoon but I’m not complaining about the suspensions

H O P I N G I successfully “paint” my nails for the first time in years. Haha if you know me, I don’t know how to? I’m a slob. Also hope to enjoy the next few weeks whilst managing my time well. I’m not known for that haha! Hoping I pass the term with flying colors and move into the new phase with little to no roadblocks. Hoping I can balance out my impulses and plans, chill and responsibility at least till this week is up

W E A R I N G a spoof shirt that says, KICKASS, one of my most worn shirts to sleep

L O V I N G today. That’s why I wrote this post. Nothing particularly special about this Sunday but I’m beginning to like Sundays with family. I grew up hating Sundays. Today I liked that we ate somewhere new for lunch (hi Erwan Heussaff again haha) and had a few spontaneous minutes in the afternoon. I also got to practice driving around with my dad off to somewhere I haven’t driven to. Greater distances, yay. I picked up some Seattle’s Best for me and my dad and it was drizzling. How great is that? Although I almost hit an old lady he claims, it was fun for me. I’ve also been in a better mood perhaps because of my recent music finds too. I also seem to think I’ve gone through the worst weeks of the term already unless of course I’m underestimating this week and overconfident in my ability to get through it

W A N T I N G to blissfully and carelessly waste away in a coffee shop alone or with company. Believe it or not, I haven’t done this in so so long

N E E D I N G to form better habits like sleeping earlier and drinking more water. Though I’ve been drinking way more water this year than I did my whole life, I say this all the time but it’s just so hard to carry out consistently

F E E L I N G contented with my state of alone-ness? Sometimes busy, sometimes free. Sometimes happy, sometimes lonely

C L I C K I N G through photos of Thai celebrities? This is so random but they keep popping up and some of them are like the prettiest or most good looking people I’ve seen haha! There’s a family I follow. I also follow the Kramers locally

The Sunday Currently is a blog link-up by siddathornton.

Flowers for your thoughts

scha.png

was supposed to do something else for class and I ended up doing this

Safe to say my classmates and I have been thrown outside of our comfort zones for the rest of the term because of contemporary epistemology class. I’ll admit that although it’s been so daunting and stressful, the sort-of-Socratic method-entailing-actual-hard-work kind of teaching style will inevitably be for our own good and growth, hence you’ve got yourself some sun flowers for all that thinking and analyzing.

While reviewing the philosophy textbook for senior high school, one of the reviewers quipped that the book is not an easy read. She worries that teachers and students might not understand it. A colleague replied that unfortunately, there is no better way to teach or do philosophy. Though philosophy students generally think that philosophy is difficult, I think they often forget why it is so. It is not because of the language or the concepts, it’s because philosophy deals with the very realities we struggle with everyday, sometimes unconsciously, for others more deliberately. Philosophy is a loving struggle with life and its questions. Therein lies its value. So perhaps the best way to begin is to have a loving struggle with the text.

—M.A. Dacela, my contemporary epistemology professor

May the struggle prove to be fulfilling!


Featured image in collage artwork: © Chris Kolupski (2008) for his amazing representation of The School of Athens on canvas

A little surprised and a whole lot thankful

Today to my absolute surprise, I had myself quite a rare and fair happy day. And in my attempt to bask in the afterglow of sweat and rain, I’m going to write a little about it.

whataday

I don’t know if it’s sheer luck, coincidence, or fate but some things out of my ordinary happened throughout the day.

And I’d just like to say, thank you, Universe, for giving me this one.

Although I’m running on just two hours of rest and there’s no denying I dozed off once or twice, I’m still feeling pretty energetic from all the that’s happened in just one little day and in school if you’d believe! Little miracles do happen in Taft. They happened to me in the form of pleasant surprises, nothing huge or tangible. This isn’t an everyday thing for me, which is also why I wanna stay awake longer just to hold on to a pretty good day like this. It’s the kind of feeling you just wanna share to your friends and parents. I hate to squeal on little big things for me, still a part of me couldn’t help but to hint it.

Wishful slash over thinking aside and the uncertainty of every other day from here on out; rather the certainty that there are more ordinary days than the opposite. I want to carry this good with me.

Stay strong yet stay light, and do all things with love, to the Aidee tomorrow that might hang on to the day and day-old hope, nostalgic for a good day and a bunch of good things that have gone.

Right now I’m thankful this happened. Today’s been a pleasant surprise.