Tie it together

Something’s gotta give, an impossible numerical value against a system I may not get around to complying with, or the culminating and most important work in my student life. I think I’ve chosen the latter, but it’s not to say that I’ve given up entirely on my clerical work. I’ve put off behaving as though the paper meant a lot to me, but it does.

Something’s gotta give, and I gotta give the best of what I have in spite of the late start and the temptation of tapping out and being contented with mediocrity. I have a chance to do something relevant, and perhaps surprise myself in the ways words, thoughts, theory, and an attempt, can tie itself together. How will I tie it all together. I want to be able to create something a sensible yet bold set of verses that I can be proud of.

thesisit

You can be the greatest
You can be the best
You can be the King Kong banging on your chest
Advertisements

Transit Terminal Vol. 4

*Just finished the term and got back from a weekend trip to Singapore, and here’s what life’s been like before, during, and until the next time I travel

tt4

A Singapore Airlines A380 is parked on the tarmac at the terminal of Changi International Airport. Photo: AFP

Got myself in and out of weird trouble that I was really shaken up about 😨
Improving my drinking 1.5 liters of water each day, though I should drink more 💧
Fluctuating on the flabby weighing scale
Inconsistently practicing beginners yoga from the discomfort of two mats in my room
Discovering how it’s really so hard to trust anyone nowadays
Disliking chatting for fear of being judged or misunderstood lolz
Mourning the passing of my grandfather Angkong in so many ways including love and joy
On a break from school because I chose an internship > senior practicum for now
👊 Starting my 9-5 life as an intern in a kick butt media marketing group! 💻
Having myself silent nights and a whole lot of me-time
Learning the secrets of oriental (Korean) skincare
Loving Igor from Young Frakenstein whom I think is one of the weirdest characters to grace film, now one of my favorites!
Jumping from one vlog to another
Spending lots and lots of time with family + grandma, and loving it 💞
🚗 Practice driving outsideeeee in the city finally (still can’t park)
Developing a more “moda” style and aesthetic?
Stalking vintage Parisian/Korean Instagrammers 📍 with raw, moody lit feeds 📷
Obsessing over manual brew coffee, coffee in general ☕
Bugged about my CGPA 😞
Still postponing the article I’m unsatisfied about gah
Just got back from some weird hormonal, sickness thing
Enjoying the start of bazaar season and meeting lovely folks in it
Restalked my fragrance, still waiting for my other staple
Craving Llao Llao’s Oreo Yogurt smoothie
Getting all spooked at night and losing sleep
Waiting to find the discipline to clean my room
Praying to find the self control not to purchase another 2017 planner lol
Planning some changes, fearing changes, going through changes

Featured airport: Changi Airport in Singapore

The Sunday Currently Vol. 5

sunday5

R E A D I N G through scattered responses from interviews I conducted for an article I’m way behind on. Lately I’ve been scanning through so many how-to type sites to guide me with sending emails haha. Thank you, Google. Going to be reading a lot of chapters from the epistemology book for finals this Thursday, bless me and my extremely short attention span especially for digital materials gah PDF books

W R I T I N G that article I’m way behind on. It’s about digital collage art. It’s proving a challenge in more ways then one. Never been this late on submitting an article wah. Also going to be writing an email right before bed to further inquire and confirm something something hmm haha

L I S T E N I N G to Your Side by Vaisle which I find is on a strange level of smooth & sexy. Me and You and Love In The Dark by Gateway Drugs which I highly recommend if you’re into synths

T H I N K I N G about beginning a coffee (plus other drinks) blog? Or just a segment here in this one for that topic? I follow a ton of people on Instagram that take photos of coffee, not just the latte art types though. But I don’t intend on decorating my feed with coffee. I do spend a good amount of time these days raving about coffee, boo. I’m really curious

S M E L L I N G change? Dramatic but my usual everyday fragrance has been out of stock. It’s not a luxury brand if you must know. It’s been out for a while that I worried they might never come out with it again. But the salesperson said I can expect it by November? That isn’t the only change for my nose though. The shampoo I’ve been using since birth (not kidding), well Johnson’s discontinued it after decades. I’m really bummed out. It’s an outrage for my hair and for my nose. No more tears? Yes tears. My hair isn’t so fun to sniff anymore..

W I S H I N G the weather stays cool or gets cooler without having to be a typhoon or destructive monsoon but I’m not complaining about the suspensions

H O P I N G I successfully “paint” my nails for the first time in years. Haha if you know me, I don’t know how to? I’m a slob. Also hope to enjoy the next few weeks whilst managing my time well. I’m not known for that haha! Hoping I pass the term with flying colors and move into the new phase with little to no roadblocks. Hoping I can balance out my impulses and plans, chill and responsibility at least till this week is up

W E A R I N G a spoof shirt that says, KICKASS, one of my most worn shirts to sleep

L O V I N G today. That’s why I wrote this post. Nothing particularly special about this Sunday but I’m beginning to like Sundays with family. I grew up hating Sundays. Today I liked that we ate somewhere new for lunch (hi Erwan Heussaff again haha) and had a few spontaneous minutes in the afternoon. I also got to practice driving around with my dad off to somewhere I haven’t driven to. Greater distances, yay. I picked up some Seattle’s Best for me and my dad and it was drizzling. How great is that? Although I almost hit an old lady he claims, it was fun for me. I’ve also been in a better mood perhaps because of my recent music finds too. I also seem to think I’ve gone through the worst weeks of the term already unless of course I’m underestimating this week and overconfident in my ability to get through it

W A N T I N G to blissfully and carelessly waste away in a coffee shop alone or with company. Believe it or not, I haven’t done this in so so long

N E E D I N G to form better habits like sleeping earlier and drinking more water. Though I’ve been drinking way more water this year than I did my whole life, I say this all the time but it’s just so hard to carry out consistently

F E E L I N G contented with my state of alone-ness? Sometimes busy, sometimes free. Sometimes happy, sometimes lonely

C L I C K I N G through photos of Thai celebrities? This is so random but they keep popping up and some of them are like the prettiest or most good looking people I’ve seen haha! There’s a family I follow. I also follow the Kramers locally

The Sunday Currently is a blog link-up by siddathornton.

A year later

Today also marks a year since I launched my blog sooo happy one year of blogging in this space! 

I stopped sharing my posts and my blog for about half a year now because a lot of the posts have become personal and private. As I’ve been doing more writing related work, as with any work, it gets tiring. It’s a struggle to churn out A+ content that’s why I take writing breaks ever so often even though it’s never advised for writers. It’s quite the opposite. Writers are encouraged to write constantly to develop that write anytime not when inspired-skill. So for my blog, a lot of my content has become easier flowing ones rather than well written articles.

I’ll admit I had a few moments just a day or two ago when I wanted to give up on a lot of things and make a lot of drastic changes in my life, including this blog. I almost thought of switching sites, even switching back to my old blog where all the lost things go to be found, but hey I guess I didn’t. Still here.

It’s a little interesting although not very publishable that my recent writing has gone back to what it was before when I started out: therapy. Catharsis.

If you’re reading this and this isn’t your first time on my blog or hey maybe it is, thank you for dropping by! It’s always nice to know that my paper planes are going places. Who knows, one of them was meant to reach you afterall. ☺️

The (Un)Art of Winging It

*Unlike my usual midnight posts, I’m even making a change in the time I publish things, weee. This was finished at 9:34 in the evening. Pause for applause. The night is young, haha. If you’re a crammer, you might relate 😛


“I’ve been a crammer my whole life,” I confess with a misplaced sense of pride in between the highs of getting there in the middle of the night, the more indescribable highs of actually getting lucky, and the lows of only recently failing to.

Who wouldn’t feel like gray-hoodie sporting Rocky at the end of that Gonna Fly Now scene, after getting through almost anything and everything last minute? Claiming I work best under pressure, almost appropriately I show up the morning of the exam in a sweatshirt. Inserting a quote about diamonds in the rough; linking an over-shared meme because we all relate. I’ve romanticized my own bad habits, blamed technology, referred to my Myers & Briggs type, given power to my own opponenttime and pressure, then likening it to a skill that happens to work wonderfully well with natural smarts and talent.

brokenwingin

that’s supposed to be a coffee hourglass haha

I realized I wouldn’t look back at my 17 years of schooling and think sentimentally of the latter “mornights” trying not to doze off to 40 more impossible pages. A clock never looked so scary. I’m searching for an excuse not to make it to class. Can I afford it? Nah. It’s a crappy feeling, for lack of a better word. I stay up beyond the suggested number of hours. I wake up (and I mean in the right mind finally) two weeks later, reading a draft I previously submitted full of typographic errors, ranging from minor spelling mistakes to greater mishapssomething about a dog and McDonald’s, and maybe some Freudian slips here and there. My pre-med progressive penmanship, hieroglyphics to the untrained eye, on daunting piles of yellow pad paper, has proven I’ve been half asleep through my classes. I have as well been more than half asleep through all that late night homework. I might even be a half-sleep-talker and it translates in writing, now a half-sleep-writer, apparently there may be such a thing.

My cool “winging it” academic life motto has lost its charm. I hope to say I used to call it, “The Art of Winging It” in my own head a lifetime ago, even if it was just yesterday and predictably a preview of the following weeks. It’s not an art, it’s no beautiful mess. It’s just messy and sheer luck; two things that aren’t going to keep getting me very far. Like every other thing that has for a while seemed shiny and my own: the night, yummy 3-in-1 coffee, starting after 12, and the relief after the storm; it gets old.

As I threw caution to the wind, taking time off what I’m currently cramming, to write about it, I’m shedding the heavy pair of broken wings that have carried me just inches above from metaphorical waves of those scary 0.0’s time and again. Call me a recovering crammer, I won’t be winging it anymore. I never want to need more time and I want to start drinking coffee while the sun is out, like a proper adult.

clock

Sign the petition: Keep Instagram Chronological

*About a week ago, the internet was taken by surprise upon hearing news of Instagram’s upcoming changes.


The feed will make a drastic switch from chronological to algorithm-based, as in more like the Facebook newsfeed. While this change was indifferently welcomed by half the world who wouldn’t be affected by these “updates”, a number of users had plenty to say about this, including myself, photographer Edmar Borromeo, and Cardiff based artist Belinda Love Lee 💚 (her IG feed is absolutely lovely, pun half intended but I mean it; it’s the featured image above), who immediately blogged about this issue. Below is my comment addressed to Instagram.

Dear Instagram,

Algorithm? Isn’t that what the Explore feed is already for? And I’m more than contented with that feature, including my timeline, and the homepage as it is.

This change will breed disorder and disinterest, especially for people who treat Instagram like a collective photo diary or those who’ve grown accustomed to scrolling through the homepage expecting to see everything laid out sequentially.

No algorithm will be able to honestly and accurately determine what’s “important” or relevant to me and what isn’t as relevant. This is especially if the algorithm is based on the number of likes, comments, and activity a post receives. Even my viewing or search activity is no accurate tool in determining my genuine interests.

Every account I follow is relevant to me, similarly every user should enjoy the right to fair exposure.

The chronological timeline widely celebrated now promotes a great sense of community online, bridging people from different parts of the globe. I don’t know, but I always enjoyed seeing the kind of real-time-activity going on in the other side of the world, starting the day, just as I’m about to head to bed.

saveig

my take on a great app for creatives

Please sign this petition 😞 NOT ALL CHANGE IS GOOD. This is to support start-ups, creatives, small businesses, and just about anyone who enjoys the great app as it is. If you haven’t heard, Instagram is just about to become more like Facebookalgorithm basedmeaning popular posts will appear on the top of the home feed. This also means the app will be gathering everyone’s activity in order to (inaccurately) determine what’s relevant to you and what isn’t as relevant. Besides, that’s what the Explore feature is already for. Goodbye organized timelines and make way for more likes-driven users. Please sign this because every user deserves fair exposure. Sign the petition because scrolling through your chronological timeline has become a part of your daily routine. Sign to keep Instagram a community for growing content-makers.

[18:38]

So I went under a slump, therefore self-proclaiming writer’s block and ultimately I’ve been very distracted for about a month already. Surviving meant not doing a single productive thing I can say I’m proud of. When I wanted to get out of it, it’s only gotten harder because I just found myself at the bottom of the pile of things I have to get done and change. But I’m going to get out of this for sure, one way or another… one thing at a time. There’s much I wanna do.

Featured photo: © Joe Webb